First Heart Beat, First Crush
by Yasashi
Summary: -UNDER REVISION- "He was trying to court you when we were grade 3 and I also remember he wrote a letter that was very long but he end up throwing it away because he lost his hope"...RxR.


**I don't own Gakuen Alice, it will never happened…ever.**

_Note: This was a real life story base in the life of a person, I always see around me and who's always there for me.

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**O.o First Heart Beat o.O**

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**O.o First Crush o.O**

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**Mikan's POV**

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Kinder garden 2

I was nothing but 3 years old when I entered kinder garden 2. As I sat down in my sit assigned by my adviser, I looked around to see what my other classmates are doing. A girl approaches me, telling her name and started blabbering non-stop. As days passed by, she became my best friend. She is Nonoko.

We had a field trip in zoo, but before we head to the bus, I saw a boy wearing a red shirt that time. When I saw him, I immediately asked one of my friends, who he is…they told me, that his name was Ruka Nogi. I don't know why I asked about his name, not-that-I-care.

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Grade 1

Now, I'm a grade 1 pupil. Every time our teacher dismisses us, I quickly run through the exit door with my head looking on the floor. I don't know why I always do that. I don't have best friend, they were just my friends. My best friend, Nonoko, was in other section.

One day, while we were in the classroom, one of my teachers entered our classroom and shouted,

"The school is burning! Fire! Fire! Get out! Quick!"

All my classmates came out in the classroom, not bringing any of their stuffs. I'm just looking at them, who were running and screaming. I was the last person in the classroom, I saw were the fires starts, it's in the hallway electric fan. May be, it has an electric shot or short circuit. Then after that, I just walked passed through it. _(A/n: the fire was located above and it's not that big.)_

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Grade 2

Years passed, I'm now a grade 2 pupil. I sat at the back, I looked around and saw him, Ruka Nogi, again. I tried to look away but I can't. Our teacher told us that we will draw anything we like. She became my savior! I brought out my pencil and start to draw. I'm finish now but one thing, I haven't colored it yet. I searched my color pencils in my bag but I never saw it. I didn't bring it. That's it! Ruka went to me with a smile. He asked was my name, I said, "Mikan Sakura". He asked me again but this time, what's my problem…I said that I didn't bring my color pencil. He lends out his colors to me. I gladly accept it.

Our adviser arranges us. I sat beside my friend, her name is Anna. Ruka sat behind Anna. So that means we can talk every time we wishes to. He tapped my shoulder and said, "Please wait for me if you're done writing", I nodded. Like he said, I did wait. When he's done first before me, he waited, if it's me, I waited for him to finish.

It's been a months since he became my classmate. One day, he told me he like me. Of course, he was force by our classmates to tell who his crush was. That time, my heart beats fast.

There was a time that I and Ruka hang-out, only the two of us. He was pointing at the butterflies around us. I told that I really wanted them so much. He tried to catch it but he failed. I laughed at him.

The next day, a girl stood in our door and called out for my name. I don't know who she is and what she need to me. She told me that her name is Sumire and her friend, a boy, wants to give me something. She handed me a small bear with a pillow heart being carried. _It's cute_, I thought. As days passed, I said to the girl Sumire that "Please tell him to stop sending me gifts, because I will not answer him anyways and give it to another girl, who will love him more than I can give". A week passed, I already know my secret admirer's name, its Kitsuneme.

Valentines Day comes, he gave me a letter, for exchange, I gave him a card.He told me that when we were grade 1, he always saw me during dismissals that my head was always looking down. I didn't know that he would give a damn on me. I though that he would just pass me by as if I wasn't there but when he told me that, my heart beats fast again. Oh no…

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Grade 3

Now, I'm grade 3. He isn't my classmate but in exchange, my classmate is my best friend. As time goes by, I slowly recognized that my best friend likes him but she didn't tell me. It was her classmate last year who told me. But I didn't confront her about that. What's the big deal anyway?

Ruka's classmates are teasing me to him. They gave me flowers and told me it came from him, I didn't believe in them.

We had a project, making a bracelet beads. It was lunch and my other classmates went out and only few of us left. A girl walk to me and said, "Hi, I'm Wakako. Ruka wants to give you this one". She showed me a bracelet. I accept it gladly and told her that, "Please tell him, thanks".

Now our field is here! Yey! We went to the place where there are many rides like roller coaster, ice skating…so on. I tried ice skating, once I already entered it, I him above _(A/n: There is a second floor). _His friend approaches him and begun shouting like, "Wow! Ruka's looking for something or rather someone". He was referring to me. Obvious! He was pointing at me.

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Grade 4

A news came to me that he went away to another place, to be specific, in London. Well, I wished him a happy life there.

I and my mother entered a shop. As I looked around a thing caught my eye, a figure of a girl and boy laughing together. I reminded me of him. There's nothing I can do, besides I wouldn't go to London just to chase after him! What do you think? I'm that desperate? No way! I bought the figurine I just mentioned awhile ago.

School starts and I've got to wait for 5 days before holidays again. Someone knock at the door and called out for my name, again. I went near and ask want he want? He said that someone wants to give me a card. As I accept it, he went away. I started reading it. I don't remember what was written in there, I might remember one line…It said, 'I look like a dirty garbage when you're around me, because every time I see you, you weren't facing and pass through me like I'm invisible, a wind or nothing…and it hurts me…'

I don't know who the guy was. I also don't why I tore it and threw away.

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Grade 5

I started a new life. I almost forgot Ruka since I'm starting to have a new crush, his name is Kokoro Yome. I thought at first that I like him but in the end, I just adore him for his cuteness, even until now. _(A/n: She mean was matinee idol affection or in other words, his cuteness hits her so she thought she like him)_

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Grade 6

It's been a long since I hadn't had a crush. I don't know why but every time they ask me who was my crush, I always said, "I don't have one yet, trust me"

November comes, it's already our 2nd Quarter exams. I studied hard but in the middle of studying, a name flashed in my mind. The name is, Natsume Hyuuga. I don't know why but my head keeps on repeating that name. I despise him, true. It's Monday and I immediately told it to my friend, Yuu Tobita. He sat beside me, so he's the first one I had said to. He starts teasing me!

One day, decided to play truth or dare. Just my luck, it wasn't me but it was Natsume. My friend, Hotaru asked, "Do you like Mikan?". I was nervous. I tried hard not to hear what he will say because it might hurt me but I wrong…totally wrong. "Yes", he simply answered. I was shocked and I know that Yuu was looking at me with a teasing smile.

Natsume asked me if he can court me. I said no. He smiled weakly at me and said that its okay but I know he wasn't.

I remember the time that Natsume was trying to catch a butterfly. When me and my friends passed by, he call my name and smile. It reminded me of someone and that someone is none other than, Ruka Nogi. The difference only was Natsume caught two butterflies and Ruka got none.

Valentines is here! I don't mind it. Heck, it's like just an ordinary day for me. Suddenly, my friends start dragging me outside. They handed me a 3 heart shaped thing _(A/n: I dunno what you call that)._ The even told me that it was from them but I don't believe them. I have a wild guess that it came from Natsume. How did I guess of it? He was standing near us! I accept it so they would let me go. I tried to tell them that I don't believe that it came from them because, what's the reason? Because it's Valentines Day? They end up confessing that they're not the one who gave and it was Natsume. They told me that Natsume commanded them to give it to me because he can't give it by his self. He was shy.

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First Year

We just graduated last year. Whew! Hard works are paid off. But no! The lessons became harder and harder! But at least I manage to survive or else I'll end up being in comatose.

I got a new friend the year. Her name is Otonashi. We got random topics that time but Otonashi immediately asked, "Do you ever had an admirer or a guy courting you?". I turned my mouth shut. My best friend Nonoko said, "Mikan got a lot!". They look at me and said, "Tell us!". I sigh and begun telling the story. Otonashi said, "You know I just remember by now when you're telling us they guys who were courting you, a name rang in my mind. I think his name is Ruka". Upon mentioning that name, all my memories of him begun flashing back. "He was trying to court you when we were grade 3 and I also remember he wrote a letter that was very long but he end up throwing it away because he lost his hope". My friends who were there listening, asked why and Otonashi answered, "Because when he saw that Mikan didn't accept the flower that his classmates giving her that was came from him, he decided not to court you. Because he told that maybe…maybe you just don't like him". With those words I heard, my heart sank. I felt guilt in me but what can I do? It's past already and I can't turn back the time.

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Author's Note

Thanks for reading! and for those who already read the My Crazy Life, I'll update soon. as soon as I can! promise!


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